Anger and Violence in the WorkplaceWhat
Happens When You Get Angry In his book, Overcoming Frustration and Anger,
psychologist Paul Hauck breaks the process of getting angry into six
steps:
6
Reasons Why Getting Angry Is Counterproductive
Are
You A Sore Loser? A stress paradox If you�ve ever played a game
(such as tennis, bowling, or golf) with a sore loser, and then played
the same game with someone who is gracious about losing, you have
witnessed one of great paradoxes of stress and anger management: What
one person finds frustrating and maddening, another person
finds tolerable and even fun! Isn�t stress the same for
everyone? But how can this be? If something
is stressful, shouldn�t it be the same for everyone? The answer to
this question is no. Whatever
you experience in life is colored by pre-existing beliefs of which
you�re not always aware. If you believe losing is terrible,
chances are losing a game is going to be stressful. I lost a game so I must be a loser. The sore loser is often just
modeling behavior he learned from a parent or older sibling. He
can�t separate his performance in a GAME from his opinion of
himself. �If I lose this game then I must be a loser.� This
is the defining thought of a poor loser. The gracious loser uses his
thoughts to control his reaction.
�Losing is no big deal,� he thinks.
�Losing doesn�t make me a bad person.
It has nothing to do with my value as a person. I played as
well as I could, I got a little exercise, had some fun and that�s
all that matters.� What you can do. If you think you might be a sore
loser, look for other rewards that makes your sport worth playing.
If you like golf, for example, focus on the social aspect of
the game, which you undermine by getting angry. Think about the time
spent in a beautiful park-like setting, think about getting out for a
walk and about what you would be doing if you weren�t playing
golf. No matter what the game, make a list of the things you enjoy
about it and focus on them when the score isn�t going your way. One final thought: a sore loser generally has trouble dealing
with hostility. So if you have always had trouble with losing you may
be carrying around a load of anger which can affect your life in many
ways. Recognize
The Difference Between Frustration And Anger We
need to acknowledge that some frustration is normal, For busy,
working people like you, even an occasionally high level of
frustration can be relatively normal. Frustration is a part of life.
But frustration and anger are not the same thing.
We can allow ourselves to feel frustrated (a healthy emotion)
without allowing ourselves to get angry (an unhealthy emotion). Some people have difficulty tolerating
frustration. This is known as low frustration tolerance (LFT). People with
LFT quickly become angry at the first sign of frustration. But
it doesn�t have to be this way. How we handle anger and frustration
depends on how we position it in our minds.
Most frustrating events like losing your car keys, or even losing your
wallet, are really quite tolerable. When you think about it,
most of us are rarely frustrated by the lack of things we really
need in life such as food, clothing and a safe place to live. Sure, losing your wallet is a pain,
but how big a pain is it when compared to losing your job, your home
or someone close to you? Our frustrations, for the most part, involve things
we think are important, but really are not. (Like when a
computer crashes.) Keeping this in mind will help you keep your
frustration in perspective and your anger in check. So the next time you feel
frustrated, remind yourself that it is OK to feel this way. Frustration
and problems are a part of life. But try to avoid letting your
frustration develop and build into anger. In most cases, anger is an
over-reaction to something that, if seen in the proper perspective, is
really quite tolerable. Test
Your Temper Experts agree that getting angry can be harmful to your
health. In fact, trouble dealing with hostility is considered a risk
factor for heart disease, no less important than other risk factors,
including diet, exercise, blood pressure and cholesterol. Everyone
gets angry from time to time, but if you find that you have a very
short fuse, you could be at greater risk for heart disease than
someone who is not so short-tempered. Here
is a simple test to see
if you may be one of those people who has trouble dealing with
hostility. Answer each question candidly and add up your total score. Interpreting
your results. If
your total is between 81 and 100, chances are you have a very short
fuse. You may want to seek professional help. If your score is between
61 and 80, you may not need professional help but you
still need to work on controlling your temper. There are many books in
the library to help you; check the subject heading: ANGER/SELF HELP.
If your score is between 51 and 60, you have plenty of room for
improvement. Try reading Dr. Albert Ellis' excellent book entitled How
to Control Your Anger. If your score is between 31 and 50, you're probably getting
angry as often as most people. Monitor your episodes of temper and see
if you can lower your score on this test in six months. If your score
is below 30, check to see if you have a pulse and then congratulate
yourself. You're virtually unflappable. Circle 1 for never, 2 for rarely, 3 for sometimes, 4 for frequently,
5 for always.
5
Things You Can Do About Anger And Frustration
5
Reasons Why You Get Angry At Work
Communicating
Anger Effectively People
tend to deal with their anger in one of two ways: they either blow
their top or they try to suppress it. Despite what you might think, the vast majority of
people suppress their anger and wind up carrying it around in the form
of resentment. There is a middle ground, though, between letting
people walk all over you and biting people�s heads off.
Psychologists call this middle way communicating anger effectively. In
order to comunicate anger, you need to translate your upsetting
thoughts into words and actions that are not offensive to the people
around you (or above you). In other words, you need to express exactly
how you feel, in a way that takes other people�s feelings into
consideration. First,
state your position using �I� statements: I feel upset when you
criticize my work in front of my coworkers. Avoid �you�
statements such as, �You shouldn�t criticize me in front of
co-workers� or �You make me angry.� Substitute any other
word for the word angry since this word is such a
button-pusher. Use words like hurt, upset, confused, or disappointed.
By always formatting your opening statement in this way you�ll avoid
an immediate counter-attack which only serves to prevent your message
from being heard. Dr.
Hendrie Weisinger, who wrote the book Anger at Work, reveals
three secret weapons for communicating anger effectively: Listening,
Negotiation, and Praise. Listen.
Once
you make your opening statement (I feel upset when...), listen to what
the other person has to say in response. When you listen attentively,
you validate the other person�s feelings. You can add to this sense
of validation by saying, I can understand why you would feel that
way... (Sometimes, even when you carefully format your opening
statement the other person will still counter-attack. If this happens
just keep restating your position until the person responds
appropriately.) Negotiation.
When you�re angry, it�s hard to concede anything to the person you
are angry with. Chances are you will be more likely to get what you
want in the long run if you come to the table prepared to make some
kind of concession. Praise. Praising the person you are angry with may seem like
a contradiction, but it will take the edge off your criticism if you
can do this successfully: I appreciate how quickly you got that
letter out, but next time you type a letter, please run it by me
before mailing it. Mixing
in a bit of praise, as long as it is sincere, lets the person know you
care about them. Dealing
With Other People�s Anger When someone comes up to you and says �I�m angry...�
you can do a number of things. (See the four steps below.) The key is to remain calm. Sometimes another person�s anger
automatically causes us to become angry as well, especially when we
perceive this anger is directed toward us. But you can avoid this
knee-jerk reaction by assuming that it is not. (Even if is,
you�ll be better off pretending it isn�t.) This may sound
crazy but, chances are, this person is angry about a lot of things,
not just you. By doing whatever it takes to remain calm, you will be
able to walk this person through the following four steps and -
hopefully - calm him down as well.
When
Do People Become Violent? According
to the National Safe Workplace Institute, a violent act is often
preceeded by an identifiable chain of events that leads to the crisis.
By recognizing this pattern, you may be able to avert a crisis before
it happens. The person in question often.
Here
are some additional warning signs to look out for:
Dropping
Anchors Anchors are the life-connections that give a
person balance and support in times of crisis. Knowing a person�s
anchors (or lack thereof) can help you determine how likely he is to
become violent at some point in the future. When a person begins to
behave erractically check the list below. The more anchors you find,
the LESS likely the person will become violent. Keep in mind, this is not a failsafe guide;
it�s only meant to as an indication of how cautious you need
to be.
While no system of evaluation is perfect, experience shows
that a person who commits violence is often a person who feels
isolated and has �nothing to lose.� In other words he has few - if
any - anchors. It�s counterproductive to profile employee�s
before they begin to act erratically, but once they do, this list
of attributes can help you better assess the situation. Taking
Threats Seriously When
violence occurs at work, we often hear that it was �completely
unexpected� or occurred �without warning.� On closer inspection,
investigators almost always dicover that there were warning
signs, but these signs weren�t taken seriously by the people in a
position to do something about them. Sometimes actual threats are
ignored because the majority of threats never amount to anything.
However, if violence is to be avoided, all threats must be taken
seriously, investigated and the appropriate action taken depending on
the nature of the threat. The following two lists will help you
evaluate a threat and give you some suggestions for action in the
event that a threat is made.
Here
are some criteria for judging the severity of a threat and suggestions
for action if a threat occurs:
It
is important to assess whether a threat is an aberration for a person
(i.e., something they have never done before) or whether the behavior
is endemic (i.e., part of their personality).
If it is the latter, prompt termination is recommended. Violence
Isn�t Just Physical Violence
occurs in all kinds of companies - in all parts of the country, no
matter how big the company or what the management style. Well-known corporations,
such as IBM, Honeywell, 3M, Merrill Lynch, Kraft, and GM have
experienced incidents of workplace violence. Employees at every level
- from hourly workers to senior management - are affected by this
grisly trend. While the vast majority of workplace deaths are
attributed to robberies (usually committed against cab drivers and
convenience store employees), physical violence also occurs at the
hands of romantically obsessed boyfriends, disgruntled customers and
ostracized employees. Even former employees fired months and sometimes
years before can commit violence in your workplace. Joseph
Kinney, author of the book, Violence at Work, catagorizes
violence into three groups:
1. Attack: a
physical assault.
2. Threat: an
expression of intent to inflict injury.
3. Harassment: behavior that troubles or worries the
intended victim. While
the media focuses on employees who go on killing sprees, lethal
violence is only the tip of the workplace-violence iceberg.
According to a survey by the Northwestern National Life Insurance
Company one of four workers have been harassed or threatened. In fact,
this nonlethal violence may be doing more overall harm than
other more physical forms of violence. First of all, harassment is
much more prevalent than physical assault; 16 million workers are
harassed each year. What�s more, harassment is usually ongoing,
insidious and often results in reduced morale, sick days and poor
productivity on the part of the victim. Conversely, physical assaults
(2 million workers are assaulted each year), are more overt, a clear
violation of company policy and thus, are usually halted immediately. If
you are the victim of any form of violence (whether an attack, a
threat, or harassment) reporting this information to the right person
is essential.
Only by documenting threats, investigating reports of harassment, and
implementing company policy against a physical assault can the
perpetrators of violence be stopped. Major corporations often have a
toll-free help line (contracted through an outside agency) or a crisis
management team for handling these kinds of complaints. Other places
to report your concerns include the human resource department, an EAP
coordinator, or a security officer. Remember, most violent incidents
resulting in death or injury are preceded by recognized threats of
violence. Only by reporting these threats can we hope to stem the
growing tide of workplace related violence. Do
You Know Of Someone Who Is Being Shunned? Most people have little sympathy for a co-worker who acts
differently, sits alone, and hardly talks with anyone. When we
encounter people like this we assume them to be �a little
weird.� And if we see a person is left out of an office gathering or
becoming the butt of jokes, we hardly give it any thought at all. This
is an example of how a person (who might just be painfully shy) is
shunned by his or her peers. We see examples of this at our jobs, in our communities and
- amazingly - even at church. Sometimes, we send out signals designed
to isolate unpopular members of the various groups in order to
diminish their participation. The messages are often subtle. A turned
head or a glance down at the floor sends out the warning loud and
clear: you are not a welcome member of this social unit.
People
who act violently often have a background of being shunned.
We think our messages don�t contribute to the situation because of
how subtle they are. But these messages diminish a person�s self
esteem and self-worth. The pain runs deep in the mind of the person
who is being shunned. Eventually,
this person may lash out in an aggressive way, feeling like the people
he hurts have already hurt him. When we see this happening we need to realize the damage that even subtle gestures can inflict. If you are a manager or a business owner, you need to make special efforts to keep your employees from shunning their fellow workers. If you are an employee, you can make an effort to be civil and polite to everyone you encounter, even if your efforts seem unrequited. Do
You Work In A Hostile Environment? Ever wonder why the post office has had so many incidents of
workplace violence? Experts believe it has something to do with the work
environment. Post office sorting centers (where most of these violent
incidents have occured) are poorly lit, older buildings with few or no
windows. Postal workers punch in on a time-clock, need permission to
use the bathroom, punch out for lunch and work against the clock -
averaging one letter per second - all day. They are supervised by
managers who often have no special qualifications or management skills.
And even though workers are held accountable for their performance,
the managers are not accountable for their own activities.
This,
in part, may explain why the post office has suffered more than 400
assaults annually from 1985 to 1995. During this time, 34 postal workers were murdered in
10 separate incidents. According to the National Safe Workplace
Institute, there are six specific characteristics of a �sick
workplace:�
1. Chronic labor/management disputes.
2. Frequent grievances filed by employees.
3. Extraordinary number of injury claims (especially
psychological).
4. Under-staffing or excessive demands for overtime.
5. A high number of stressed employees.
6. Authoritarian management approach. Working
conditions such as these clearly have an effect on worker morale.
When enough of the above factors are present, large-scale burnout,
friction between workers and their bosses and, in some cases, violent
outbursts are more likely to occur.
Does your company have poor working conditions, a culture of
overworking and underpaying its employees combined with an
authoritarian management style? If so, you should think about looking for a job in a
different (more friendly) working environment.
Although lethal violence is extremely rare, you will still be
better off working in an organization that fosters employee morale by
offering a positive environment and participatative management. 5
Steps For Preventing Violence In Your Workplace 1. Write it down. In order to prevent violence in
your organization, you need to establish a written policy of zero
tolerance. Joseph Kinney, author of the book Violence at Work,
says it�s important to commit your policy to paper. All you really
need is something simple like, �This organization will not
tolerate violence and aggression in any form, either from inside or
outside the company.� In
addition, your HR department must spell out what constitutes
threatening behavior and what levels of aggression will result in a
warning, suspension or termination. Furthermore, this policy must be
published, posted and reinforced by company newsletters and handouts. 2. Survey employees. Ask employees how they feel
about this issue. The threat of violence to workers is a problem that
is often overlooked by management. Surveys will determine the mood of
the workforce on this issue and provide a basis for what needs to be
done. Questions on the survey should be direct: How important is this
issue to you? Have you ever experienced violence, threats or verbal
abuse? Have you ever felt threatened or worried at work? 3. Screen future employees carefully. An employer
should carefully screen its potential employees during the hiring
process. This must be done fairly and without conflicting with
existing employment law. Carefully check out employment gaps in a
person�s resume and conduct simple pre-employment tests to measure a
prospective employee�s tendency toward aggression or violence. 4. Train future managers. Employees being considered
for management should be carefully trained (and screened) before being
promoted to supervisory positions. Sometimes a star employee gets
promoted to management and is ill-equipped to deal with petty
squabbles and other disputes that arise. Minor differences can quickly
escalate into major problems. 5. Get the support of senior management. Anyone
hoping to start a violence prevention program needs the support of
upper level management. No program will work unless it�s supported
from the top down. This means that you will need to develop a
rationale for implementing such a program. Getting upper management to
see the potential benefits of such a program is the key. These
benefits include: improved worker morale, lower stress, reduced
likelihood of future litigation and claims, less chance of being cited
by OSHA and the ultimate benefit of preventing injury and the possible
loss of life. What
To Do When Rules And Regulations Appear To Be Unfair After a violent incident occurs, it often comes to light that
policies which appear balanced to management may appear unbalanced
to employees and/or the perpetrator of the violence. Whether the
policies are fair or not makes no difference. Just the fact that they appear
unfair should be enough to motivate managers to clarify rules and
regulations and apply them fairly. Establish
peer review panels. One
of the best ways to accomplish this objective is to establish peer
review boards. A peer review board is a group of employees (not
managers) who are trained to handle complaints and rule on them. This
group can head off problems from an employee who believes he has no
other way to address his grievances. The peer review board (whose
decisions should be final) may be able to reinstate a worker it
believes has been terminated unfairly. Peer
review panels are perceived as fair by workers. Harvey
Caras, a consultant and HR Manager for GE, says, �Peers have
tremendous influence and peer review panels make very good judgments
regarding worker issues.� These
panels can prevent disasters simply by clarifying company policy and
allowing it to be enforced in a way that is perceived as fair
by all employees. Remember, no matter how fair a policy truly is, if
it is perceived as unfair, it can be a source of much distress,
distrust and dissatisfaction. Peer
review panels can handle all kinds of issues. Peer
review panels can be given power over: promotion/performance review;
drug test results; disciplinary actions; overtime disputes and abuses;
sexual harassment; race, sex, age, religion or disability
discrimination; safety issues and job assignments. Peer
review panels save the company money. Installing peer review panels can yield powerful benefits. |